” Why did you marry her?” I asked . We were sitting in the roadside deli near Mr Ranganathan’s Clinic. One week after our first meet, I finally decided to pay him a visit.
Akriti and I were on talking terms. Thats just about it. The relation was strained, almost on tethers. I was stressed out . She was mercurial and exacting . Could say frequently exasperating.. however I cannot deny I had a blast with her. Her wry sense of humor and heavenly cooking compensated for everything. I needed a break! And gentle and warm nature of Ananth was just that….
It was a beautiful morning .. birds chirping.. a nice day for picnic and Ananth was an interesting person.. still charming..I could feel that I am being sweet to him.. and knowing that didn’t stop me either.. such was his charm…No wonder he was successful… his patients responded to him really well… Not surprisingly most his patients are women …
So I asked, ” What made you marry her? I know she seduced you”.
” You should understand.. she couldn’t have seduced me if i didn’t want it.. but I did. I fell in love her”
” Akru did tell me about your love story… But I am interested about after the marriage thing.. When did this accusations start?”
” Around 5 years after we married. She started playing mind games with me initially. She was bored of marriage. Wanted some fun.. but only with me”
” What do you mean by fun?”
” Well…. She would make me beg for sex and yet won’t sleep in my bed. be jealous of each of my patients… and when I became really angry… she would continue to tease me.. till I cudnt bear anymore… thats when I would force her.. and then it would be amazing… ”
I gazed at him for sometime trying to gauge if he was saying the truth. He convinced me.
” So.. she forced you to rape her and you did… and what was amazing about it?”
” I didn’t rape her! She is my wife for god sake! I did act rude.. but eventually it was mutual… a little rough than usual may be but not rape…”
” Okay. Please continue. You know what I want to hear..”
He sighed but continued in a dispassionate and pinched voice..
” You don’t believe me do you?”
” I don’t know what to believe. I am just trying fit the pieces to get the whole picture”
” Well I don’t blame you. I know its hard for you.. you like us both”, he said understandingly.
For some reason, this made me defensive.
” I try hard to not get involved with my work emotionally.”
” But you are failing right now. My wife has this effect on everyone. I still couldn’t figure out why…”
“Excuse me!!”, I said exasperatedly.. I didn’t like his high handedness!
” Sometimes, I believe in what my wife says. She is so mesmerizing ”
I stopped and let him talk.. coz he was saying the truth.. she was that.. a master story teller!
” She was such an beautiful wench.. and willful.. and hurt.. but like a lioness.. vicious.. the things she has seen and undergone.. we cant even imagine.. even if we r psychologists.. that experience is hers.. and she is marked for life.. she needs help yes… I give the best thing possible.. I give her love” , he said that looking into my face.. with tears in his eyes.. with utter sincerity that left me shaken..
” I… don’t know what to say..” I said.
” I am sorry. Its just that I love her so much.. but she is so hurt that.. she doesn’t understand the language of care.. just that she needs time..”
He was getting emotional I could see.. just to change subject I said, “Tell me about your kids.. how do they take all this stuff?”
“They don’t know anything.. ”
“You know thats bull crap”
This was a wrong thing to say coz he visibly closed up.. I wonder why I neevr realized how shoddily I handled this case… If anyone else did notice no one said anything…
He said, “They are safe and in boarding school. I never ever would let them be affected by this..”
“And you think that being away from family would help them achieve that? ”
He decided to keep quiet…
The silence was broken by a phone call… his mobile rung…
“Hi, How are you Rubiya? Oh thats just gr8! Am so proud of you…” I was not paying attention but the name caught my mind.. it was one of the lady Akriti had mentioned in her story.. one who was supposed to be in love with him and one with whom he had affair…
“Hey I am with…. you know… So I will call you later okay? Yes I will be there in the party and yes I will come alone.. I wont spoil your party dear.. I promise.. bye”
“I want to meet her” I said.
“This Lady Rubiya! She is the one mentioned in your wife’s statement”
“I am sorry, I cant make you meet my client”
“I can ask her permission. Let her choose”
“She has nothing to do with this.. My wife is lying! I told you why..She is insecure and delusional.. you know this is clear cut kleinian situation!”
–In those cases in which the significance of reality and real objects as reflections of the dread internal world and images has retained its preponderance, the stimuli from the external world may be felt to be nearly as alarming as the phantasied domination of the internalized objects, which have taken possession of all intuitive and to whom the ego feels compulsively bound to surrender the execution of all activities and intellectual operations, together of course with the responsibility for them‘
This is exactly whats happening with her! She fears me coz in our relationship I am the giver.. So in rebellion she cries foul and when I nurture her she is back to normal!”
“Dr. Ananth. I know you are more experienced than me. However, I do not have any back ground knowledge about your wife. I am here to investigate if there is any truth in her claims. And I plan to find that out. I dont care about what you think. I need answers and I will get it whether you are comfortable with it or not”
My voice had a timbre more than my usual one. I was irritated and it showed… I felt more drained than I usually am!
Soon I left the deli and went for a walk.. I had to clear my mind there were just too many impressions.. What exactly is true.. their love or the ugly scar on her face??
I received an SMS.. it was Dr Ananth.. he had sent Rubiya’s phone number and few others too.. The ladies he was supposed to have relations with….
It was late in the evening around 8:00 I was out with Shlok having dinner when I got a call..
“Hello. I am Rubiya.. we need to talk.. are you free?”